Tagged: new york

Our Wedding

Our relationship leading up to the day Mariel proposed to me was “normal” in every way. But I’m sure you can imagine that once we started trying to plan a lesbian wedding in Texas, we came into some hurdles! Think about it — two brides. I don’t think I need to say any more than just those two words: Two brides!! 

Initially we thought about eloping to bypass all the imagined drama but then realized we could swing it and that we should. So we did!

The wedding was held on October 7th in Austin, TX and the morning after we flew to NYC for our honeymoon / legal wedding. As you can see from the photos, our theme was “simple & natural.”

As young professionals, we aren’t rollin in the dough so we made a budget and stuck to it! It was hard but we made payments, cut back in other areas and in the end it was worth it. Our centerpieces were used wine, beer and drink glass bottles that we saved up for months. The table runners we bought off Craigslist for a portion of the price it would have been to rent them and the bows on our chairs were re-used from my sisters wedding. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for help and to donate their used stuff! Also, to help offset the honeymoon costs we created a really easy and free honeymoon registry. At the end of the day, most of the gifts we received were purchased through there!

decorflowers & cakevegan vanilla cake with DIY bunting bridal suite shot wedding march married!! signing our certificate sisters wedding party so mexican bridal snaps bridal snaps bridal snaps getting jiggy wit it toasting father daughter dance first bite! garter belt send off peace out! NY Wedding Certificate

Our family & friends traveled from all over the country to be with us even though we held it on a Monday. [having a wedding on a weekday is a big money saver] Our main goal of the wedding was to have our guests feel our love. Everybody who attended told us it was their first gay marriage. It was ours too! However, marriage is marriage — us being gay makes no difference. The commitment is all the same.

Thank you to everybody who was there for us and helped to make our day special. We had co-workers, family, friends and vendors who pitched in and gave us things on-the-house or volunteered in awesome ways. Many of the things you see were DIY that my wife and I spent countless hours laboring over. Other things like the flower arrangements, were arranged by many hands! For all of you who helped or showed up we are eternally grateful.

Our vendors: Venue: Mercury Hall | Photography: Austin Queer Weddings | Vivi’s Dress: Unbridaled | Linens: Premiere Party Central | Flowers: Sam’s Club | DJ: Capital City DJ | Cakes: Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop | Food: El Alma | Donuts: Round Rock Donuts

Much love,

Vivianarchy

New Digs

I’ve been moving and shaking since I was 5 years old. If you ask me what my hometown is I’ll tell you every city I’ve lived in but you’ll forget because there’s too many. These days, I am an Austinite.

When I graduated college I wanted to go to NY and I wanted to move to CA but nothing was falling into place. Once Mariel landed a job in Austin I followed suit and everything has been falling into place for the both of us since. Right now we don’t own much. In our “we’re moving out of state” frenzy we had a moving sale and sold everything we’ve ever owned. We held onto the memory boxes and computers but mostly everything else is gone as you can see here in our living room.

Our undies are in a suitcase, we’re sleeping on a blow up mattress that we have to re-inflate every few days and we can make eggs on our pan but not spaghetti because we have no pots. In a month I’ll be 28 years old. If you’d have asked me where I saw myself at 28 back when I was 21, I’d have painted a very different picture than the one I’m living now.

But you know what? I’m happier now with no possessions than I’ve ever been. EVER. It took a lot of sacrifice to finish college, I took a lot of risks, I’ve been unemployed for many months holding out for something that I’ll actually like instead of just something that provides me with a paycheck.

I’ve been highly criticized and doubted but I persevered. I knew things would fall into place for me eventually so I saved my money wisely, spent it frugally and kept applying like a mad dog. Finding a job was my full time job. But most of all, Mariel stood by me every step of the way. When I’d get rejection email after rejection email and I broke down thinking I was going to be a loser for life, she’d tell me she knew I had what it took and that she believed in me. She said it with fear in her eyes but that was all it took for me to keep pressing forward.

The thing is, I have big ambitions. If you have them too you know what it’s like to risk everything to move towards your dream. I knew I would be successful because losing wasn’t an option for me.

I refuse to live anything less than my passion. I am passionate about media be it print, radio, television, digital, etc. In case you don’t know, it’s a highly competitive field and you don’t make it into the industry unless you’re relentless.

Anyway, here’s to following your passion. I gave up a lot, but this experience has been humbling for me. I’ve gone from being very financially comfortable to having my 21 year old girlfriend work two jobs to support us and my big dream (In case you’re wondering, I’ve found work now and Mariel has just one job).

Cheers!

Vivianarchy

What have you risked to follow your passion? I want to hear your story so comment below ↓↓↓

Quotes & Tips: NYCreative Interns Event

What were you born to do? I think a lot of us get caught up with life and don’t ask ourselves this simple question. Some people are working jobs where they make tons of cash in companies they care nothing about. So what’s the point? I want you to not just think about your outer-self and your financial goals but also your inner-self who needs to be fulfilled as well. Since I turned 25, I’ve been on a fast and furious mission to graduate college and change my life. I finally did last December. It took me 9 years. I like to think that I’m an expert student.

So what’s my dream? I want to be a computer programming/social media/blogging/advertising/freak. Since I graduated, I’ve been LinkedIn’ing, Tweeting, Facebook’ing and cyber stalking those who currently hold a job in my dream career and members of companies I’d like to work for. I’ve spent countless hours doing this. I mean, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve become a pretty good stalker :) Since it’s my goal, it’s been sorta like my full-time job. I want this bad.

One of the companies I started following this spring is @NYCinterns. Around the middle of March, I went online and saw that they were having a conference with a bunch of speakers from big name companies on April 21st. Casually I looked up flights, DFW to LGA, then closed my computer and went about my day. Later that week I told my girlfriend about it and she said, “How much is the entrance price and how much are flights?” She’s the more sensible out of the both of us. For a recent grad, I couldn’t afford a flight and the ticket to get in, so I emailed them and got a sweet discount. I booked my flight that same night.

So yesterday I went to the event. A great quote I heard from one of the panelists at the event was, “passion without execution gets you nowhere.” Real shit.

But passion isn’t everything. I’ve had no luck. A few empty leads & many new acquaintances. Luckily for me I love to ask questions and the answer I’ve heard time & again is:

“You need to live in New York to find work here.”

But see, if I move to New York with my life savings and no job, I’ll have to disconnect my phone. That’s the only sure-fire way to make my fiscally conservative Latino parents discouraging words disappear. I think they can survive a few months without hearing from their eldest daughter who just moved to a huge new city 2,197 miles away (I calculated)…right?

Since the event, I’ve been pumped and inspired to take the risk to follow my dream so much so that I haven’t been able to stop looking over my notes and sharing my experiences with my girlfriend and Aunt. I want to share everything I wrote down with all of y’all so here’s what I wrote:

    • Finding your passion is easy, following it is the hard part. Don’t lose sight.
    • Go at your passion like an assassin.
    • The Onion- 89% of networking is non-consensual.
    • Think about what you have to offer.
    • Convey your passion in your resume.
    • Ask for an informational interview.
    • “Don’t get distracted by the no; focus on the yes.” @ardenfaye
    • Get across why you feel the connection is valuable to them.
    • write [email] “I’m sorry this is a blind pitch.”
    • Center. Soften. Connect.
    • “Ask for forgiveness, not permission.”
    • When things stop being fun, it’s time to move on.
    • watch Steve Jobs commencement speech 2005:

      • Look up Bill Cunningham documentary:

    • Look up:
    • jobs at Google. @googlejobs
    • Flipbook.
    • “Daylighting”–working on side projects while at work.
    • “In a creative career, you have to be willing to fail, then pick yourself back up every time.”
    • “Failure is an amazing learning experience.”
    • Get on Behance.
    • “Push away the thieves of your ambition. Who makes you better? Surround yourself with those people.”

I hope my notes have inspired you to think about what your passion is and to take baby steps into making it a reality. One day, maybe even ten years after you first start, you’ll get there. As for me, I’ve made a few connections on this trip that I’m going to follow up on so I can be one step closer to my goal.

in my shoes

Lately, I’ve been dismissed with the words: “You have rights.” “You have privileges.” “It’s the same to draft up paperwork as it is to be married.”

It’s not the same. I’d like for you to put yourself in my shoes. I would like to see if you’re brave enough to walk hand-in-hand with a person of the same sex in public for a week and don’t let go. Don’t swing your arms and act like friends. Hold his/her hand like you would with your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

CAN YOU DO IT? WHAT REACTIONS DID YOU GET? HOW DID YOU FEEL?

If you were able to do it, you’d understand what I face every time I leave my house with my partner. I am not the same as you. Our government doesn’t recognize my rights as equal to yours. In this country, I am a second class citizen.

When I think about my life, I want a wife and kids and I’d like to be able to cover them on my health insurance. I’d also like to legally adopt the children as my own. I can’t do that in this state. I’m not complaining–just explaining.

If I want a chance at a real life, I have to move. Every one of us gays in the USA who value legal marriage, have to leave our families, jobs and friends behind in order to have a chance in a state where it is legal and where there would be less chance for discrimination. The problem isn’t just a matter of marriage but also of second parent adoption.

Of course I’ll miss everything I have here. I’m leaving behind my family and my home. But if I don’t go, I’ll be living my life for you–not me. For kicks sake, lets talk about the option of my not moving. If I stayed here I’d still try to move forward with my life. At what cost? Let’s look.

IN THE CASE OF A BREAKUP:

    • I’d have to fight my girlfriend in court for shared custody of the children she bore. I wonder how well that would go?
    • Either one of us could walk away with belongings from the home we shared and not have to legally share a thing. Too bad-so sad.

Basically, if things went south, I could potentially lose everything. Would you go into an arrangement like that? Why should I?

Visibility is my responsibility. One of the best ways for me to help the movement is to be visible and transparent. I won’t lower my voice when talking about my personal life if asked, and I won’t pretend like I’m straight because I’m afraid of how you’ll take it. I don’t care.

I’m here, and although I don’t have the rights I deserve in this state, I have the courage to leave and pick up again in a state where I’ll get to turn my dreams into realities.